New Ventures, Adulating Ventures

This summer I decided to spend some time with family, so I hopped on a plane and came home to our family summerhouse. A home away from home, it’s small but more importantly It is set up by mum. It takes her an hour to have everything in place and ready to live in, all I have to do is make myself scarce.

This little villa placed on an estate at the foot of a mountain and it is minutes from the beach. The marble tiles and massive balcony is set up as an outside living room. The house is full of random bits of furniture, nothing too expensive as the use we get out of anything in this house is about a 100^th of anything used in any other home. Everything is pretty much white, grey or made out of oak. The stars here seem so close, I imagine myself plucking them out of the sky and our little town famous for its breezy weather, you often need a jumper to keep away the summer chills.

I think it is better than any hotel trip I’ve taken. Some, would hate it.

Yesterday, just after our daily breakfast routine, I got a little lump in my throat when talking to my parents. As my dad and me were examining the new renovations and discussing possible changes, he mentioned selling it.

Ride it Out

I got on the train this morning feeling energised knowing that there is not much more I can do now to change last night. The lack of sleep or the McDonalds ordered at 1am or the shitty conversations.

Just have to ride it out.

Knowing Your Crazies

For the past few weeks, I have been sleeping with the crazies. The dreams I dream seem scripted and rehearsed scenes from my worst fears. In the past week, my man has cheated on me, ran away and ran back and that is just the my man dreams. Alongside all of this, I have lost my job, had car accidents and the worst of the worst – found mice in flat. Yet each morning, I have woken up in a huff and puff to a mice free house, feeling lost, only to find the man sound asleep and unaware of the disturbance he has caused in my subconscious.

I Wish Solidarity to All Women

Amid all the International woman day posts on Friday, I caught myself feeling lonely. Over the last few weeks, having touched upon things like the imposter syndrome and other things, I can’t bypass this feeling. The negative and positive feelings of loneliness.

I lived on my own for about 2.5 years in Turkey and in the beginning, I often found myself feeling lonely. As time went by, I got better at being on my own and during those peek social times, I wouldn’t even care that I was alone.  I read a book, watched a film or series and I could often go to bed forgetting to lock my door. I seldom felt unsafe or alone, I felt stronger and in control. I grew to love it, the carelessness and security that come with independence was divine.